Why ar?

hmmmm~ somthing weird happens around me~

i m now working in steamboat restaurant with ah yew and jia sheng~

I can feel the differences of how my friend treat me......

tats y i can feel tat ah yew treat me differently then b4..........

(ah yew is a very very best friend of mine n my so called boyfriend)

not to say think too much la~

b4 he nvr talk to me like this~ he wun make fun of me with this serious topic~(love thingy)

but now he did~ tats y i know tat he is not joking~ just tat he is telling out sumthing he nt dare to tell through joking way~

okay~ so thing is like this~

since we start working together~ we are getting closer~

sumtime he will ask me m i available (since i nvr occasionally show tat i m nt availeble infront of my highschool friend~)

he also ask me wat is the realationship between me n siow~

off course~ i wouldnt tell out the truth~

coz i m waiting siow to confess it out instead of telling out myself~ (I got my own persistent)

but i wouldnt tell out the lies as well~ so i din give him the answer~ just says tat maybe yes maybe not~

to make the conversation not tat stiff~ i try to make fun with him~

so i ask him y he ask me sumthing like this~ and ask him izzit he wan to "kao" me?(we used to make fun like this b4~ n the answer they always say is "choy! impossible la!")

but no! he say "y? cannot meh?"

i stun thr n say tat "aiyo dun make fun of me la~~haha~" (trying to laugh silly to bring away this topic)

wat i m thinking is omg==

we are best friend leh== i really treat him as a very gud friend~

i dunno m i too sensative or wat?

after tat topic~ he always sms me in the morning or nite~(he nvr did this b4)

i was really alert here~

n sumtime within our sms, like just now~ he will say he couldnt sleep becoz missing sumone~

then whn i ask who is the lucky one~ he will say u n siow la~

he miss siow he a very normal thing~ but me! hor!!><>

haha n silly laugh to bring over the topic again==.............

so back to another topic~

i tell this to siow~ my lovely so call lover which haven really make known to the public(our high school friend)

and he was like nth............==||

i ask him do u ever care tat ur best friend maybe fall in luv in ur so call girlfriend?

i ask tat will you "hap chou"~

and so he tell me actually he didnt........

he say dunno y, he just belive tat his friend wun do tat~~

haiz..............so should i concern abt this problem tat he dun even care tat sumone is (maybe) liking me?

i dunno should i angry sad or happy.................

erhhhhh.................. so i ask him...........

will he bother if i dun contact him for 3 days?

he says off course~ he say he will miss me like hell n worried abt me~

hmmmm~~~ i should be happy when i see this~

but no! i m not happy! at all............... y?

becoz i dun believe in it..............==

sad isnt it?

i m really really really lack of confident on him..................

i m lack of "an quan gan"...............

i dunno whn he say is true when is fake...........

i know sumtimes he will say sumthing just to make me happy............

but i dunno whther izzit true or it is just to make me happy??

women are hard to please............. especially me............haiz..............

i dun like to doubt people............. but i m doubting.............

hate it................

so when can u really really confess our relation ship to the public??

this is the oni way i think for so long which can increase my "an quan gan" now..........

i dunno whether it works or not.........but should i try?

haiz...............

by the way............he is freaking unhealthy now><.........

i m a very bad girlfriend......... i shoudlnt boder him with this kind of stupid question while he is recovering slow.......==

but.......... this is the only time tat he can really free n slow down to listen to me.........==

friendly speaking~ i dun dare to bother him since he is studying so hard in out state~

busy for scolarship and money.............

i dunwan to distract him...... tats y it is really hard to find time to talk with him...........

we rarely hav deep conversation...............

so now sinces he nid to rest~ he got plenty of time staying on the bed doing nth~(actually there are many a lot a bunch a huge amount of assignment waiting for him to do n study since he has not been to school for many days because of the surgery...........)

but he nid rest~ so i think tat maybe its time to talk abt our problem right?

maybe he got time to talk and chat with me right?? (persuading my self tat i did nt do wrong@@)

haiz......................

FAN AR!!!

haiz..............k la~~ go sleep la useless hoi yee sum==

gudnite la sei alvin siow wei shiong............. fu sam hon==...........

scold u gao gao here la== u also dunno one......=P.......haiz.............

bad guy!!

always effect me==.......................

muacks!

luv u sei ye!!!

I hav nth to say.........T..T

Pain!!!

Work as promoter last last last week (forgot which week le) with ah shin in Giant kelana jaya~~

Quite new experience~~^^ but very tired!!@@ leg pain dao hell~~

Then we always eat in ah wei's daddy hawker store~^^ Gud!!! nice to eat n nice to pay too~~haha~~~^^

Then now i work as a waitress in a steamboat store with jia sheng and ah yew~~

Frm 5pm till 12pm~~ Very tired~ but time flew~~^^

many work to do too~~ so wont feel boring~~^^

But i think i will never eat steamboat anymore after this work==

Too bad i m now in a very unhealthy mood==

Headache, period pain, sore throat, leg pain............==

The most sad thing!!

My love one's leg broke!!

I m very very worried.........but i can do nth to help>

He went into operation yesterday........... N yet it was god damn pain after surgery>

T..T my heart really broke into pieces when i hear his no-energy voices............

What can i do to help?

If oni i can share all the pain u have got!!!!

Ur leg is very important..........T..T

haiz......... so pain........pain in my heart..............

i cant stop thinking abt u every nite i b4 i sleep............

think abt ur leg.......... think abt the pain u suffer......... i just couldnt help to fall into the sadness deep beneath my heart..........

Hope you can recover soon............T..T

Be strong as u were!!

Muacks!!! LOVE YOU n MISS U very very much!!!