relationship status..........@@

OMG!! new post again==............y is there so many things happen==.........
barely update my blog within couple of days.............

the time i see ur relationship status........
it really tackle me...T..T
haiz~~ y is it single again in ur status??
i rather u put nth than single..........
sumtimes i really dun understand.........
haiz~~

the 1st time u tackle me is when the time u change ur status into "engage with xxxxx".........
i was like wow@@!! when on earth u engage with others??
then u told me tat its just making fun within friends........
then ok~ i accept it~

then u change back to single~
i feel okay then~ single is better than engage right?

so then when u hide ur relationship status later~
i was like wooohoooo~~XD
at least u r not declaring tat u r single~ means there is still possibility of being not available~

although i dunno y u nvr declare our relationship (coz we always don't??)~@@
the reason i give to myself base on how i know u, is tat maybe u scare tat u couldnt make it to our relationship so tat u dunwan to give any promisses at 1st........@@ (is it??)
this is wat i told my self......n i really BELIEVED in it........

but when i see u change back ur relationship status into single==.........
i was like@@ y is it single again...............??
did i do anything bad?? (yeap, i did......T..T)
or u already fed up with me??again@@??

aiks...........i know i m thinking way too much coz the stupid relationship status thing is oni a little bit of matter to u........ermm........ok..........it is not a matter to u==...........
so.....okay...........i admit, i m just speaking nonsense here..........==
just some thought inside my heart n i just shout it outs without thinking with my brain@@
haiz...........
this is wat a girl do when they really blind of love...............T..T
>women are hard to please? yeah............i always know tat.........
but i just cant help with this==..........
aiks~~ just let me shout out over here~ and everything will be fine after all~
the way of shouting out loud will let me feeling better............
maucks~~♥ luv u ♥

yeah.............i m so stupid...........

i m so sorry babe..........
sorry to disappoint u again n again.........
n i always take advantages from u..........
my bad to always make u worried...... and make u so sick off hearing my excuses.........
i m really really sorry.......... no doubt....... sorry can change nth........
but it is to show how regret m i to hurt u so much.........

yeah.....i m so stupid.........
n i finally understand wat u wan me to do to change.................
so sorry>< sorry to make u so sad n angry of me..........T..T
i know theres nth can do to make u believe me again as i always disappoint u..........
but i will try my best!!
thx for always care abt me...........and always there for me...........
muacks!! i love u as i always do~~~~
i will take care my self~~
no worries anymore~

everyone did bad things.........so do i...........
i admit i m careless...........i always do.........
but i will try.........ok?
plssss.......dun give me up?
i really scare.............
everytime when i disappoint u...........i really scare..........
no.........not scare.....is fear..........fear of losing u............
coz i always make u sad..........and even make u sick off talking to me..........
i dunwan to be a burden..........

actually............
i always refuse to grow up..........infront of u.........
i can be a gud leader in a group, i can be a gud student in a class, i can be as gud as i can......
but i cant be a grown up infront of u.......
coz i always want u to be there to protect me...........i thought tat i can be as a child as i can be when i m with u.........when i nid care, and when i m hurt.................
i like the way when u protect me, when u cheer me up if i m upset with all those things............n i like to rely all my things on u..........
this is wat i thought.........tats y i always show the weakness face on u.........
but all these have become a burden of you.............and tats not wat i wan..........
u always wan me to learn.........to grow up............n i refuse to hear tat.............
sorry.........
and now its really time to grown up right............?
it needs time indeed..........
will u be there? waiting for me.....................

love u as i always do............

title?? empty la== lazy think==

wow@@ 2 months no update le~
actually quite a lot of things happen~
but its almost pass~ so there is nth special to talk about all la~

About this sem~~
what i can say is FULLFILLED!!!
work seems easy to do~ but its hard to do the thinking part~
concept needed to be fully done and come out by all the brain storming!!
i really satisfied with all this "疲惫轰炸！"
haha~ so now i m really really tired !! exhausted!!==||

The favourite subject i like the most this sem is DRAMA class!!!XD
it really give me a chance to "show off" (@@??)
haha~~ i like acting~~XD it really challenge me~~
and i enjoy the time when i think about the execute n story line things~^^
it helps my brain to twist and turn around~^^
although my acting are not tat gud coz all the self-conciousness thing~
but i think i m quite talented in others part as i have a bit experience in my precious high school~~^^m i??
i like to learn and fully use wat ive learnt~
wahahha~~ i m really proud of my self~^^

So~ on the other hand~ i m quite happy that the relationship between me and my friends from previous class are not fading out@@
phew~~ we are still quite close as we can have lunch together all the time~^^
especially ah shin la~~ i can feel tat our friend ship is getting closer n closer~haha~~
happy dao~~XD
coz its really hard to find somone tat can tahan me edi@@haha~

But then, talk about the bad part...........
things are getting weird........
i really scare things tat always change between us~
i m so worried about a lot of things tat i can do nth abt it@@
ah shin la, jing la, wei n datong la, hao shen la, jj them all la...............i can barely feel tat sumthings happen in you guys.........
although i know nth, but yet i can still feel the weirdness of it@@
the only thing i can do now is open one eye and close another..........
hope things can turn back into wat they used to be@@

So after all the class and friend things, now lets talk about family thing..........
Its really shit when i knew tat..............
wat a small world>i still cant believe it....................
i cant really says out wat happen here..............
but it really pissed me off.............
Its so humiliate! how can this happen on me??!
i cant stand it! really!
some may think tat i m too over reacting on this, but i can oni says tat u will never understand when its not happen on you!
你在其他地方怎么样都好，我都不会管，我只需管好我自己，你也只需尽好你的责任……
但为什么会牵涉到我身边的人？
还是有直接接触的那种！！！ 我真的很难接受！ 你要我如何去面对我的朋友？！
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！
......
......
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phew..................ok............back to the topic...............
on the other hand........ me and my sister car are coming by tomoro..........
i tot i will be very excited as this is my very 1st car@@
but no..........its not.............i yet feel empty.............
i think i m just too greedy on this................
haiz~~~

then talk about another thing............ Chinese New Year is coming!!!!
for god saken............i dun really like this event at all!!!
coz things has already changed!!!!!!!!
Chinese New Year for me are no longer any special days as there are nth to be happy about.............
but yet, this year i m going to Bali with my family again..........
i dun really wan to join them at first...........
as i also had my very 1st lonely, busy working, chinese new year last year...........
coz i know there are just quarel n quarel in the trip after all..........
but what really attracted me to join this trip is wat my sister says.........

For the very 1st time my sister wan me to accompany her to do something tat she have never ever wanted to do b4!!! (tied all our hair in to braid, and tattoos on our body!!)
hell YES!! its very hard to hear my sis to ask me to accompany her!!!
she doesnt need me in all the time whenever i think she needs.......
but for this time!! she ask me to accompany her@@ wow.....WOW!!!
it really surprise me........!!!!
and this really make me so happy tat i think tat there are still a little hope between me with my family............
as all my friend know, tat there is always a gap between us, no matter which member in my family..............
so i think that...............
maybe, i wun be tat disappointed as i always do, right?
maybe this trip are different then b4?
hope so la@@
so the conclusion is i m going to a bali trip(again) with my family this chinese new year..........
I M INSANE i think@@ to make this decision.................

Okay then, finish abt classes, friends, family............and now its time to talk about my dearest baby..........................
Time flies!!!
for 3 more days, the 3rd valentine between us are coming............
this means tat we r going to step in to a 3 years relationship@@
and it also means that after 4 days, u will step into the 1st year time of living in US!!!
YOU have already been to US for 1 YEARS!!!
time flies u know??!!
i have already lived here alone for 1 years n 365 days that breathing the air without you........... what can i say??
i have past through a hard time that i miss u so much in every little single seconds and i really cant believe tat u have gone for a years..............
for every special day, i have to over come the loneliness of living without you..........
graduation nite, my birthday, christmas, new year............
and now valentine and chinese new year are coming too...............
these special days are no longer that meaningful as u r nt here with me............
but though i still need to continue my path and life..........
i can over come everything, every little missing and thinking about you.......
i can have a very fun time spending with my friends...........
but yet, its always there, the little loneliness that has taken over my heart whenever and wherever i m alone............when i m thinking about you...........
sometimes i might disappoint you but please do believe that i have no harm........

i dont know how to explain my complicated thinking and feelings.............
i just wanted to let u know how much u r important to me...........
but this doesnt mean tat i cant live happily as i always do...........
so no need worries....^^
i will still be good~
as good as the time u r with me~^^

And for the very good news that really brighten up my heart~!!!
that is YOU are coming back on the 19th MAY!!!XD
i m so happy to hear tat!!!! OMG!!!
i just cant wait till tat time><

hahahhahaha~~
i will ve very miss you!!XD
Thousand words are no longer enough to bring out what i wanna to tell you.....
The only thing i can say is that I LOVE YOU!! you are my beloved one~~
Muacks!!!!
LOVE YOU ALWAYS HUN!!!!>3<